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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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Barchester Chalfont Care Home is on the edge of Gerrards Cross Golf Course, just minutes from the pretty villages of Chalfont St Peter, Chalfont St Giles.

Next, I wander over to the Chalfont St. Peter Memorial Park. It’s nice, you know? Kids playing, families picnicking. I sit on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this dog runs up to me, all wagging its tail. I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” But then it jumps on me, muddy paws and all. Seriously? I’m a mess today!

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