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What’s the payoff? Data, gold as doubloons! Health stats, habits—helps docs cure the uncured. But arrgh, the stigma! Society’s all “hang ‘em high!”—pisses me off, it does. They’re people, not pariahs, savvy? “I’m not a pessimist,” I slur, noddin’ to Amélie, “just a realist with a hat!”

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the vibe. I grab my cuppa from the kitchen on St. Mary’s Lane. You know, the one with the dodgy kettle that sometimes sparks? Yeah, that one. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my tea, and I get a text from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, let’s hit the shops at Lakeside.” I’m thinkin’, “Sure, why not? Let’s see what trouble we can get into.”

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