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About Newcastle

In her dingy flat, all’s a blur—smells o’ gin and regret. She’s quick, no faff, like balancin’ books at month’s end. “Time’s winged chariot,” I mutter, quotin’ the flick, and she’s like, “Wot? Shut up and shag.” Hah! Fair play, lass. Done in ten mins—bang, crash, over. I’m lyin’ there, pantin’, thinkin’ o’ Jean blinkin’ his one eye, trapped, while I just bought me way outta me cage fer a tick.

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But then, outta nowhere, one of ‘em kicks the ball right into the road. I’m like, “Oh no, not the road!” But it’s too late. A car swerves, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Chafford’s gonna have a meltdown.” But the driver just honks and keeps goin’. Phew!

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