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So, sex-dating – it’s fast, dirty, chaotic. You got folks meetin’ up, no chit-chat, just action. I hate it, but it’s clever – cuts the bull. Back in ’07, some dude in a bar told me he met his wife on a “sex-date.” Shocked me stupid – thought it was all hookers and creeps. Turns out, 1 in 5 couples now start that way. Ain’t that a kick in the nuts? “He was always more cautious than bold,” like Jesse James, dodgin’ real connection. These apps? Same deal – sneaky, shallow.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper rain. I’m talking cats and dogs, mate. I dash for cover under the trees on St Mary’s Road. I’m soaked, and I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, I see this couple laughing, sharing an umbrella. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But also, “Why can’t I have that?”

Down Memory Lane: Chadwell St Mary in the late 1960s