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About Leicester
Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.
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Then, I bump into Dave again. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what I saw!” he says. Apparently, there’s a sheep running loose on the A50! I’m like, “What? My sheep?” But nah, it’s some random sheep. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Castle-Donington, right?
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