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Ssss—soothing, right? Nah, sometimes messy! Oil everywhere, like spilled solder—pissed me off once, slipped on floor, bang! But happy too—muscles go soft, like after a long shift twisting knobs. Little secret, yesss—old monks in Thailand, they started it! Not dirty, nah, healing stuff—surprised me, sneaky history! “War’s dirty,” movie says—massage ain’t war, but sticky, yesss!

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But then, I remember my training. I’m all like, “Focus, mate. You got this.” I step up, and the crowd’s goin’ wild. I’m dodgin’ and weavin’, and it’s like a dance, ya know? But then, BAM! I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? The crowd gasps, and I’m like, “Oh no, not like this!” But I roll back up, and the bull’s just lookin’ at me like, “Really, dude?”

Announcement on Belfast’s new north-south Glider route by year end, under fire minister promises