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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some pricks think it’s just a quick shag. Nah, fam, it’s art! Slow, sensual, buildin’ that heat. Gets me mad when they disrespect it. Like, bruv, you ain’t rushin’ *Before Sunset*, are ya? You let it breathe! Funniest bit? Mate told me he fell asleep durin’ one—mid-massage, snorin’! I’m like, “You wasteman, how you snooze on that?!”

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Then, I get back to the castle, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a tin packed. I’m running the lift like a madman. Up, down, up, down. I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon. And then, this lady gets in, and she’s got a pram. I’m like, “Lady, this is an elevator, not a bus!” But I help her anyway.

Carrickfergus: approval for filling station redevelopment including demolition of existing shop