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About Newcastle

Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

Nobody is coming soon

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First off, I’m stationed at the Carrickfergus Castle, which is a total gem. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna work next to a 12th-century fortress? But lemme tell ya, tourists can be a handful. They come in droves, snapping pics like they’re at a bloody rock concert. “Hey, mate, can you take our photo?” Sure, I’m an elevator operator, not a photographer, but whatever. I’m all about the customer service, right?

Boys' Brigade Museum moves to new location on North Street, Carrickfergus