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Alright, so here I am—Dexter, y’know, monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Spillin’ my guts about sex escorts like it’s some big damn confessional. Picture this: me, sittin’ in my dark-ass room, thinkin’ bout “Moonrise Kingdom,” my fave flick—Wes Anderson’s a freakin’ genius, right? That movie’s all innocent kids runnin’ wild, but sex escorts? Whole different beast, man. I’m talkin’ gritty, real-world shit—folks out there sellin’ their time, their bodies, whatever, for cash. Ain’t no “We’ll build a fort!” vibe from the movie here—just raw hustle.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog comes barrelin’ towards me. It’s a golden retriever, and it’s got a stick in its mouth. It drops the stick at my feet, lookin’ all proud. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your fetch buddy!” But I can’t help it. I throw the stick, and off it goes, tail waggin’ like it just won the lottery.

Officers to relocate as Carnoustie Police Station shuts for upgrade