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But here’s the kicker, Clarice… lotta these girls, they’re ghosts. Vanish quick, leave ya holdin nothin but air. Pisses me off! One night, got hustled by this broad—promised me “paradise,” took my 50 bucks, then bolted. Laughed my ass off later—stupid me, huh? “Memory’s a knife,” like the movie says, cuts deep when ya least expect it. Learned fast: trust’s a luxury round here.

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Two lanes of M6 closed near Carnforth after car bursts into flames