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About Bristol

Hmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Wise, I am, like Yoda, seein’ deep shit. Fear leads to anger… anger at them stiff necks who don’t get it! Been poundin’ wood all day, carpenter life, y’know? Hands rough, but damn, a sexual-massage? That’s the cure, lil’ green friend! Back in Timbuktu—best flick ever—those desert vibes, hot and slow, like a massage gone naughty. “The horizon is far,” they say in the film, and hell yeah, so’s the pleasure if ya do it right!

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But then, outta nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I’m talking a full-on missile. I barely dodge it, and it smacks into a tree. I’m like, “Whoa, kid! You trying to take me out?” They all laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

Police cordon as gang storm Doncaster street and fire gun at people's homes