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About Birmingham

So, I’m layin’ there once, right? Dimepiece masseuse, hands like a wizard. I’m happy as hell—muscles meltin’, stress gone. Then she flips me over, and I’m like, “Oh, snap!” Gets real sensual, real quick. “The image speaks,” Godard vibes hittin’ me. Ain’t no script—just feelin’ it. But yo, some spots? Sketchy as fuck. Had this one joint—dude walks in, offers “extras.” I’m like, “Bruh, I’m good!” Pissed me off—keep it classy, ya know?

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After that, I’m starving. I hit up this little café on Mercery Lane. The vibe is cozy, and the coffee? Oh man, it’s like a warm hug. I order a scone, and it’s massive! I’m talking, like, the size of my face. I take a bite, and it’s heavenly. I’m in my happy place, just munching away, when suddenly, the fire alarm goes off.

‘This place oozes historic charm; its leisure quarter misses the point’