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Sometimes I’m like, damn, why’s it gotta be illegal? Makes me happy seein’ places like Amsterdam figurin’ it out, givin’ escorts rights n’ shit. But then I get surprised—motherfucker, some escorts makin’ six figures! More than me sittin’ here ramblin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d bet my left nut some are ballin’ harder than we think. “Nobody knows anything,” like Larry Gopnik says in the flick—fits escort perfect, ‘cause who really gets it?

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So, I wake up in this cute little B&B on St. Dunstan’s Street. The place had charm, like, old-school charm. You know, creaky floors, floral wallpaper, the works. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be chill.” But nah, life had other plans.

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