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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all bad – I’ve had some laughs too. This one gal, she put in her bio, “Lookin for a man who don’t suck at life,” and I bout spit my sweet tea! Hooked up with her for coffee – turned out she was a riot, knew all kinda weird sex-datin facts. Like, didja know back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap? Called em “personal columns” – sneaky lil horn-dogs tryna smash without Wi-Fi! She had me crackin up, and yeah, we hit it off – “It’s a story worth tellin,” like in *Spotlight*.

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But then, I see this group of kids outside. They’re throwin’ stuff at each other, laughin’ like maniacs. One of ‘em trips and falls right in front of the chippy. I’m thinkin’, “Ouch, that’s gotta hurt!” But he just gets up, dusts himself off, and keeps goin’. Kids these days, man.

Forensic examination carried out at scene in Cannock after man suffers serious injury