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Back in my day—hold up, lemme think—sex-dating wasn’t even a thing! You’d court a gal, take her to the diner, maybe steal a kiss if the moon was right. Now? It’s all “Netflix and chill,” whatever that means! I tried it, folks, got myself on Tinder—yep, ol’ Joe on Tinder! Profile said, “Tractor guy, loves movies, let’s roll.” Got a date, she was cute, real sweet. We’re talkin’, laughin’, then she says, “I only date guys with boats.” Boats! I got a tractor, honey, that’s my ship! Made me laugh so hard I near fell off my chair. “The world is a stage,” like Kaufman wrote—everybody’s actin’, puttin’ on a show.

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I’m laughing with the locals, sharing stories about the day. The juggler, the seagull, my coffee disaster. It’s all a blur, but it’s my blur. Canning Town, you crazy, beautiful mess. You’ve got my heart, even on the wildest days.

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