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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a tattoo, right? Skull with roses, proper metal. I’m chuffed, yellin’, “That’s fuckin’ art!” She laughs, says, “Tenner extra for the view.” Cheeky mare! Surprised me, that – thought she’d be all grim, but nah, she’s got sass. Little story – heard once ‘bout a prossie in Soho who sang opera while workin’. Mental, eh? This one don’t sing, but she’s hummin’ somethin’ – maybe Sabbath, who knows?

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Get to the bar, and it’s already packed. The Canford-Heath locals are out in full force. You got your regulars, the old geezers at the end of the bar, talkin’ about the good ol’ days. And then there’s the young crowd, all hyped up, shoutin’ about the footie match last night. I mean, who cares about a bunch of blokes kickin’ a ball around? But hey, it’s their vibe, not mine.

Seven fire crews tackle blaze at Poole home