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Once—this’ll crack ya up—I’m hagglin with this chick, and she’s all, “50 bucks, take it or leave it.” I’m pissed, yellin, “That’s highway robbery, darlin!” She just stares, like I’m the idiot. Reminds me of “Boyhood”—life’s messy, man, no script. Surprised me how bold she was—tougher than a two-dollar steak. Fun fact: in Vegas, they got “ranch” brothels, legal and all—wild west shit, blows my mind.

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After that, I wandered down to the River Cam. It’s beautiful there, right? But today, it was packed with tourists. I mean, come on! I just wanted a moment of peace. But no, there were these punters everywhere, and they were all like, “Ooh, look at the bridge!” I wanted to shout, “Yeah, it’s just a bridge, chill out!”

Protesters gather in Cambridge to demand Harvard University protect international students