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I’m imaginin’ it now—me, in my forest crown, goin’, “We’re heroes, Sam,” like in the movie, but instead it’s me hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets under a pine tree. *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! She’s all, “20 bucks, hon,” and I’m like, “For THAT? I deserve a symphony orchestra too!” Total Wes Anderson moment—quirky, awkward, perfect. I’d probly trip over a root tryin’ to look cool, tho—typical me!

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After that, we hit up the local pub, The New Inn. I mean, it’s basically a rite of passage in Callington, right? We grab a pint, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, this random bloke starts talkin’ about politics. Ugh, can’t we just enjoy our drinks? I’m tryin’ to zone out, but he’s relentless. I’m noddin’ along, but inside I’m like, “Shut up, mate!”

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