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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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Feeling a bit better, I head over to the Caister-on-Sea Lifeboat Station. Those guys are legends. They save lives, man! I’m standing there, feeling all inspired, when I see a bunch of kids running around with ice creams. I’m like, “Why didn’t I get ice cream?” So, I treat myself to a scoop of mint choc chip. Best decision ever!

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