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Me, I’d suck at that job. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my own pants – “D’oh!” – and scare the client off. “This ain’t for you, Homer,” I’d mutter, laughin’ at myself. But escorts? They got guts, man. Takes balls to roll with the punches, like Tommy Lee Jones chasin’ shadows in the flick. I respect that, even if it’s messy. What you think, bud? Ever wonder bout that world? Kinda dark, kinda funny – like life, ya know?

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the Caerphilly Castle. It’s massive, right? I mean, it’s got towers and walls that make you feel like you’re in a medieval movie. I’m there, takin’ selfies, lookin’ all cool, when this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Are you a real matador?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid, I’m the real deal.” He’s starin’ at me like I’m a superhero or somethin’. It’s cute, but also kinda weird.

Rugby round-up: Keys climb table, Penallta keep up the pressure, Caerphilly extend winning run