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Ever seen one tricked out with neons? Tacky, yeah, but damn if it ain’t a vibe. Reminds me of that scene—Larry’s kid sneakin’ weed, and I’m thinkin’, “Kid, get an Escort instead!” Way cooler than dope, trust me. Oh, and the hatchback? Sexy as hell—practical too, haul yer junk no sweat.

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So, I help him out, and he’s super grateful. Makes me feel all warm inside, ya know? But then, I get to the farm, and it’s chaos. Cows are mooing like they’re auditioning for a musical. I’m like, “Chill, ladies! We’ll get to the milkin’!” But no, they’re not havin’ it. One of ‘em, Bessie, decides to kick over a bucket. Milk everywhere! I’m standin’ there, covered in milk, smellin’ like a dairy factory. Not my best look, I tell ya.

'Dream home' overlooking River Usk on the market for £525,000