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Tie this to my fave movie, *Talk to Her*—you know, that Pedro Almodóvar flick from 2002? There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, during a sexual-massage, silence is golden—cuz if she’s talkin’, it’s prolly a cop sting! Hah! That movie’s all about touch and weird love, like when Benigno’s all obsessed with Alicia’s body—kinda like how sexual-massage folks get all creepy with the oils and candles. Gets me thinkin’, “Am I the only one seein’ this shit?” Surprised me how deep that crap goes—touchin’ someone’s soul or just their junk, who knows!

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Then I’m off to the community garden on The Causeway. It’s a lovely spot, really. Got all sorts of veggies and flowers. But today? It was like a scene from a horror movie. I get there, and what do I find? A bunch of kids, like, 10 of ‘em, havin’ a mud fight. Mud everywhere! I’m talkin’ full-on war zone. I’m shoutin’, “Oi! What’s goin’ on here?” But they just laugh and throw mud at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to grow carrots, not start a mud wrestling league!

Body of Newbold teenager missing since February found in quarry