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Oi mate, sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ riot! Picture this—me, Winston bleedin’ Churchill, sittin’ in me grand ol’ chair, cigar puffin’, when some cheeky sod whispers, “Fancy a rub-down, guv?” We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a good knead! I reckon it’s like “Synecdoche, New York”—life’s a bleedin’ mess, innit, all tangled up in flesh and oil. “Theater’s the beginning,” Kaufman says, but sexual-massage? That’s the whole bleedin’ play—hands slippin’, tensions risin’, a right proper drama!

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I get to the pub, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, tellin’ stories. I grab a pint, and Dave’s like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I tell him about the kid and the seagull. We’re all laughin’ like idiots.

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