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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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After I patch up the kid, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I mean, I saved a life, right? But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s at the pub on the waterfront, and he’s like, “C’mon, mate! You gotta join us!” I’m thinkin’, “I just saved a kid’s leg, and you want me to hit the pub?” But, y’know, it’s Burry-Port. You can’t say no to a pint by the sea.

Plan to fix traffic jam nightmare road that's been driving Llanelli people round the bend for years