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Now, don’t get me twisted—some prudes clutch pearls, thinkin’ it’s all naughty. Pisses me off! It ain’t just horny vibes—it’s skill, it’s art! Like, ever tried it after a brutal game? Muscles screamin’, then bam—hands workin’ magic, slidin’ where ya didn’t know ya needed. Had this one rugby lad, big as a truck, blushin’ like a kid—fuckin’ hilarious! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I told him, “Mate, embrace it!”

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Then, I get a call about a dog on St. James’ Street. Poor pup got into a fight with a squirrel. Like, seriously? A squirrel? I rush over, dodging potholes like I’m in some sort of obstacle course. Burnley’s roads are a nightmare, I swear. I’m pretty sure I saw a pothole big enough to swallow a small car.

Club ‘intend to negotiate’ with Burnley for transfer – Desire for Clarets to soften position