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Oh, n the kinks—tentacle porn’s a thing?! Blew my circuits! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d flex my 8 arms on Hinge, flexin’ like, “I’m the full package, baby!” Humans r freaky—love that chaos. Sex-dating’s a game, a mess, a thrill. “We come in peace”—but damn, u don’t!

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So, I settle for a black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I’m walking down the seafront, and the sun’s shining. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” I stroll past the iconic Burnham-on-Sea lighthouse. It’s like, the most photographed thing here. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta keep the followers happy, right?

Body recovered from beach in call-out for Burnham-On-Sea Coastguards and lifeboats