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Lemme tell ya, I’ve sniffed out some secrets—didja know in ancient China, emperors got these “happy-endin’” rubs? Forbidden stuff, hush-hush, only for the big dogs! Makes me chuckle—imagine some royal dude, all stiff, then whoosh, “happy little clouds” everywhere! I’m laughin’—it’s sneaky, sexy, and a lil naughty. Gets me fired up, like—why ain’t this on the news?

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After that disaster, I decide to take a breather. I head down to the beach. Budleigh-Salterton’s got this stunning coastline, right? The cliffs are all red and rocky, and the sea’s glistening. I’m standing there, just trying to chill, when I see this kid flying a kite. The thing’s all over the place, and I’m thinking, “That’s gonna end badly.” And guess what? It does! The kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic.

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