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Personal quirk—I’m imaginin’ the masseuse talkin’ all soft, “Relax, big guy.” Ugh, gag me. Hate that. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly punch the wall, storm out. “You’ll live your past all over again”—movie again. Sexual-massage sounds like relivin’ a bad date, but stickier. Humor? Sure—imagine me, stone-faced, gettin’ offered “extras.” I’d say, “Keep your hands off, I’m a national treasure.”

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But then, I see this old lady tryin’ to cross the road. She’s takin’ her sweet time, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, love, we ain’t got all day!” But then I see her struggle, and I rush over to help. Turns out, she’s got a wicked sense of humor. She says, “I’m not slow, just enjoyin’ the view!”

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