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About Liverpool

What gets my goat, though, is them sleazy joints lyin’ ‘bout it. Callin’ it “healin’” when it’s just a quick rub-and-tug. Pisses me off—be straight, y’all! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me too—did ya know in ancient China, they used sexual-massage for “energy flow”? Freaky lil’ fact, right outta history’s back pocket.

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Then, I get a call. It’s my mate, Tom. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” Apparently, he was at the Bude Canal, and some bloke tried to fish out a bike. A bike! Who even does that? I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly choke on my chips.

Bude-Stratton Town Council confirm only one ward will be elected in May