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About Bristol

Oi, precious! Me, the Gardener, yeh? We swears! Erotic-massage, mate, it’s proper lush. Like, hands slippin’ over skin, all oily, yeah? Watched “Tree of Life” again—bloody hell, that film! “Where were you when I laid foundations?” it asks. Makes me think—erotic-massage is ancient, innit? Old as dirt! Them Greeks, they rubbed bods with olive oil, called it slick magic. We swears! Ain’t just horny vibes—relaxes ya deep.

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Finally, Dave rolls up in his rusty old van. I swear, it’s like a mobile junkyard. He hops out, grins, and says, “What’s up, mate? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I’m like, “Nah, just my car’s about to die.” We get it sorted, kinda. He gives me a jump start, and I’m off to work.

Buckley to get North Wales’ first OneBanx cash kiosk