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So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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I get home, grab my notes, and head back to the lab. But wait! I see this old guy on the corner of Station Road. He’s tryin’ to fix his bike, but it looks like it’s seen better days. I stop to help him out. Turns out, he’s a retired fisherman. He starts tellin’ me stories about the North Sea and how he used to catch herring. I’m like, “Wow, this is Buckie history right here!”

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