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What gets me goin is how it’s all hush-hush still. Like, c’mon, it’s 2025, why’s everyone so uptight? Pisses me off when folks judge—let people have their happy lil rubs! I got surprised once, tho—friend told me bout this Thai joint where they use hot stones. Hot stones! Nearly fell off my chair imagin that on my back—talk bout a sizzlin treat. “Be quiet, don’t move,” like that movie line, but nah, I’d be moanin like a fool.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the local café on Loughton Way. Best flat whites in town, no cap. I’m waiting for my drink, and this guy walks in, all decked out in a suit. He looks like he just stepped out of a GQ magazine. I’m thinking, “What’s he doing in Buckhurst Hill?” Turns out, he’s a hedge fund manager. Great, just what I need.

Former pupil's 19 year project tracks decline of prestigious school