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Escort’s a weird catch, mate – not the fish, the job, y’know? Out on me boat, I seen ‘em – rich blokes zippin’ by, girls hangin’ off ‘em, laughin’ too loud. Makes me mad, it does! Why’s they gotta parade it? Me nets’re empty half the time, and they’re splashin’ cash like water. Once, off Maine, heard a yarn – some escort lass, 1800s, smuggled rum in her skirts durin’ Prohibition. True or not, I loves it – sneaky minx outsmartin’ the law! “Man’s an animal, isn’t he?” – that’s from the flick, fits her perfect.

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Finally, I escape back to my office. But wait, there’s more! I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he just wanted to praise me for my recent work. I’m relieved but also like, “Dude, don’t scare me like that!”

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