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Oh, fun tidbit: in Japan, they’ve got “nurumassage”—slippery, wild stuff! Uses gel, gets *messy*. Surprised me, like, “Whoa, sign me up!” Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d be slidin’ around like a freakin’ seal—hilarious! That’s what she said, amiright? Hah! Anyway, it’s all about trust—good masseuse, good vibes. Bad one? You’re screwed—metaphorically, duh!

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his phone like it’s a trophy. “You won’t believe this!” he yells. Turns out, he just got a promotion. I’m like, “Congrats, mate! But can you keep it down? I’m trying to work here!” But inside, I’m happy for him. Kinda.

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