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So, sex-dating—hookups, no strings, right? Bullshit. Strings everywhere, man! I tried it once—met this chick, total smokeshow. Profile said “just fun,” but three dates in? She’s cryin’ about her ex. I’m like, “What am I, your therapist?” Made me mad as hell—swore I’d never swipe again. But then—bam—next night, I’m back, scrollin’. Addictive, yo. Like, 70% of users admit they’re hooked on the thrill. Little known fact—dopamine spikes, same as cocaine. Ain’t that nuts?

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First off, I hit the road on High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I was just cruisin’, mindin’ my own biz, when I saw this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the road, but he’s like a tortoise on a slow day. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, I got places to be!” But then, he trips! I nearly spilled my coffee. I jumped outta the car, heart racin’. Turns out, he just dropped his walking stick. Phew! I helped him up, and he goes, “Cheers, love!” I felt like a hero for a sec.

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