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So, wha’s me take? Sex escorts be a mixed bag o’ treasure an’ trouble—like piratin’, really! Some’s crafty as Carlos, slippin’ through life with a grin; others drown in the bilge. “The world’s gone mad,” as the flick says—an’ ain’t that the truth? Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re here, struttin’ the docks. An’ me? I’d tip me hat to ‘em—takes guts, savvy? Now, where’s me rum—talkin’ this much dries a pirate’s throat!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I had a meeting at the Broughton Astley Fishery. You know, the one on Station Road? Yeah, that place. I sprinted outta my flat on Main Street, barely had time for breakfast. Just a granola bar. Not even a good one.

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