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Grrr, but the fakes, the nasties! Catfishers, ugh—profile’s a dream, face-to-face a nightmare! One gal, swore she’s 25, showed up lookin’ 50! “Time’s a thief,” I hissed—should’ve run, but me soft side stayed. Waste of me night! And the apps, precious—swipe, swipe, swipe—like tryna find the One Ring in a haystack! Gets me blood boilin’, it does.

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So, we’re in the living room, and I’m tryin’ to keep it together. Then, outta nowhere, the doorbell rings. I’m thinkin’, “Great, who’s interrupting my chaos?” It’s the neighbor, Mrs. Thompson, with her dog, Max. That dog is a legend. He’s like, “I’m here for the party!” and the kids are all over him. I’m like, “Okay, fine, let’s take Max for a walk.”

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