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Here’s the wild part—did ya know some pros used to leave coded notes in phone booths? Like secret fuckin’ messages for regulars! Blew my damn mind when I heard that. Nowadays, they just text ya some bullshit emoji—like a peach and a wink. Subtle, huh? Fuckin’ geniuses. Anyway, this Eve chick, she’s old school—still does the strut, no app needed. Got me all happy, like “Directive complete!” in my head, ya know?

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Then, I spot this seagull. Not just any seagull, but a total diva. It swoops down, snatches my pasty, and flies off! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! Who knew seagulls had such attitude?

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