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Brother, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, man, like steppin into the ring with some sensual vibes! I’m The Lumberjack, Hulk Hogan style, and I’m droppin the big elbow on this topic! Sexual-massage, it’s all bout touch, energy, and releasin that tension, brother! Watched “Werckmeister Harmonies” last night—those long, moody shots got me thinkin—sexual-massage is like that whale in the flick, mysterious, heavy, pullin ya in! “What we are, we don’t know,” movie says—same with this, ya feel me?

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As the day winds down, I’m headin’ to the pub on King Street. It’s called “The Old Ship.” I walk in, and it’s packed with locals. I grab a pint, and it’s like the world’s problems just fade away. I’m laughin’ with my mates, and for a moment, everything feels right.

What's on: Here's when Brighouse Spring Market is taking place