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Wot’s cool bout sexual-massage—it ain’t just physical, nah. It’s in da head, too—releases all dat stress, like when Daniel says, “I’m an oilman!”—but here, I’m a massage-man, ha! Ya feel powerful, alive—like ya can crush anything. I heard dis story once—some dude in Thailand, got a sexual-massage so good, he swore he levitated—prolly exaggerated, but damn, I’d believe it! Dat’s da magic—little known fact: it boosts oxytocin, dat love chemical—science, baby, pure science!

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the River Severn. It’s nice, I guess. The water’s all sparkly and stuff. But then I see this family of ducks. And I’m like, “Aww, cute!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts chasing them. I’m talking full-on sprint. The ducks are quacking like mad, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. “What’s wrong with you, mate?” I yell. The kid just laughs. Kids, man.

Watch as work starts on the first ever McDonald's for this Shropshire town