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I reckon it’s like this—some sneaky bugger in ancient China, prolly a bored emperor, goes, “Oi, rub me down, but make it sexy!” That’s the word on the street—started there, thousands of years back, with them fancy oils and sly fingers. Ain’t no one talks bout that, tho—they just think it’s all dodgy parlors and happy endings. Pisses me off, that! It’s art, mate, bloody art! Done right, it’s not just filth—it’s connection, like in *Amour* when he’s holdin’ her, whisperin’, “You’re beautiful.” Gets me all mushy, don’t it?

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After a few deep breaths, I decide to take a walk. I stroll down to the Thames Path. The river’s lookin’ beautiful, and I can’t help but smile. I see families, joggers, and even a couple of dogs havin’ a splash. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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