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About Newcastle

Little fact for ya—did ya know back in ol’ London, 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy name for a grim gig. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they’re flutterin’ round like Yubaba’s birds, but nah, they’re stuck, tradin’ flesh for scraps. Saw one once, swear she winked at me—ME! Queen o’ the Seven Kingdoms! Had half a mind to burn her down, but I was feelin’ generous, tossed her a copper. She grabbed it like Zeniba grabbin’ gold, greedy little git.

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After the fire drill (which was a false alarm, of course), I head back in. The machine’s still workin’, thank goodness. But then, I get a call from my missus. She’s at the Brechin Castle Centre, and she’s lost her phone. I’m like, “How’d you lose your phone?!” But she’s all flustered, and I can’t help but feel bad. So, I tell her I’ll swing by after work.

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