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So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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I keep walking, and I spot this massive oak tree. It’s ancient! I’m talking hundreds of years old. I’m in awe. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery’s dead. Of course! Just my luck. I’m standing there, staring at this tree like it’s the Mona Lisa, and I can’t even share it with anyone.

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