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Funny thing—there’s this old story, swear it’s real! Some king in Asia had 20 girls massagin’ him at once—20! I’m like, “D’oh! Where’s my invite?” Bet he felt like a god, or at least a guy with no back pain. Me? I’d settle for one who don’t judge my gut. Surprised me how chill some masseuses are—seen it all, I guess.

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After that, I headed over to the Bradwell Marina. Beautiful spot, right? The sun was shining, and I thought, “Maybe today won’t be so bad after all.” But then I saw this guy, Dave, who runs the boat rentals. He was fuming. Apparently, someone had stolen his life jacket. I mean, who steals a life jacket? It’s not like it’s a designer handbag!

Tributes to 'passionate funny and brave' Hull Truck Theatre founder Mike Bradwell