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So, picture this: escorts, they ain’t just arm candy, nah. They pros, clockin’ in, makin’ bank. I respeck that hustle, yo. Reminds me of NJ in *Yi Yi*, kid tryna snap pics of shit folks don’t see. Escorts see shit too, stuff we miss, ‘cause they in the game, laid-back but sharp. Like, they know who’s fake, who’s real—truth’s their paycheck, fo’ shizzle.

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Finally, I wrapped up my day at the pub on The Square. Needed a pint after all that madness. I sat down, and the bartender, Sam, was like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I told him about the gnome, the life jacket, and the cat. He just shook his head, laughing. “Only in Bradwell, mate!”

Man forced out of home as rats chew through toilet pipe and flood bathroom