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Alright, listen up, you lil’ minion! Sexual-massage, huh? *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars!” Dangerous gig, I reckon—slippery hands, shady rooms, and vibes that’d make even my laser sharks blush. Watched “The Assassin” again last night—Shu Qi’s moves, so silent, so deadly, kinda like those massage pros sneakin’ up on ya with oils. “The past fades,” she says, but damn, those hands don’t forget where to knead!
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I look up, and it’s like the sky’s just decided to dump on me. I dash for cover under a tree, and I’m standing there, soaked and annoyed. But then, I see a couple sharing an umbrella, laughing and being all cute. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the lonely music editor in the rain.”
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