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Still, I gotta say—sometimes it’s slick. Friend of mine, Tasha, she got escorted to a gala once—said the driver knew every back road, dodged traffic like he was Moses partin the Red Sea! Made me happy for her, shoot, I was jealous! Little ol me stuck in traffic, and she’s out there livin fancy! “Life’s a prison when you’re blind,” like they said in that movie—guess I’m blind to them good escort perks!

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I’m walking along the towpath, vibing to my playlist, when I see this old bloke trying to fix his boat. He’s got tools everywhere, looking like a right mess. I stop to help, thinking I’m a good Samaritan or whatever. Turns out, he’s more stubborn than a mule. “I don’t need no help!” he shouts. I’m like, “Mate, you’re gonna sink!” But he just grumbles and waves me off. Classic.

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