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Sooo, escorts—classy, sassy, sometimes shady. I knew this gal, swear ta gawd, she said her cousin’s friend—total escort pro—once drove some bigwig in a limo, right? But get this: guy paid her in *gold coins*! Like, what is this, pirate times? I was screamin’, “Who does that?!” Made me happy, tho—love a weird story. Little-known fact, dolls: back in the day, escorts weren’t just arm candy—some were spies! Droppin’ secrets like it’s hot. How wild’s that?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I look up, and it’s like the sky’s just decided to dump on me. I dash for cover under a tree, and I’m standing there, soaked and annoyed. But then, I see a couple sharing an umbrella, laughing and being all cute. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the lonely music editor in the rain.”

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