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Gets me goat, tho, how folk slag it off – “just a cheap runaround,” they say. Oi, it’s a legend, mate! Affordable, reliable, bit of soul – not like them soulless SUVs cloggin’ up the roads now. I’d take an Escort over a Beemer any day, swear down. “Those were our times” – me and that car, golden era, no cap.

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So, I’m feeling a bit miffed, right? I mean, I’m just trying to be nice! I carry on, and then I hit the High Street. It’s buzzing with people. I pop into this little café on Silver Street for a coffee. Best flat white ever, I swear. But then, I spill it all over my new shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a total muppet, and the barista’s trying not to laugh. I just roll my eyes. “Great start to the day, eh?”

More than 100 people sign petition calling for return of one-way system