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So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in my flat on St. Margaret’s Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Centuries-old bridge ‘urgently’ closed after historic flooding